But unlike the decades it took for me to grapple with my anger and bewilderment at my brother's act, I quickly realized my gross mistake in blaming Spade or Bourdain for "hurting" their loved ones or making it about "fault," and felt ashamed. ![]() ![]() Twenty years have not blunted my instincts or reflexes. When I learned on Tuesday that Kate Spade had taken her own life, my first thought was: "Why did she do that to them?" referring to her husband and 13-year-old daughter.Īnd when, almost unbelievably, I learned Friday morning that Anthony Bourdain had committed suicide in his hotel room in France, I thought "My God, he had everything to live for! Why?" When I heard my brother Jonathan had taken his own life, my first thought, unfiltered through the sieve of reason, was: "Why the hell did he do this to me, to my mother, to us?"
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